It just so happened that on the same day I decided to give one a go I opened a magazine to find a local woman rhyming off stories about how many people with digestive problems she had helped over the years with her miraculous, and most importantly non invasive, treatment. So it didn't take long for me to contact her and arrange an appointment for later on in the week.
Skip forward a few days and I found myself sitting down in an incense laden room, filling in forms about the (non existent) stresses in my life and giving permission to have a head ache after the session. I made the hideous mistake of going into it believing that I would have little involvement in the process and that she would just work away until an answer would suddenly become clear and I could just go home slightly poorer but definitely a lot happier sans IBS.
What I didn't realise was that the session would run as such:
"I will ask your body questions to find out exactly what is the cause of problem. Then you will hopefully be able to elaborate on what your body is telling me."
And just like that my cynicism returned with full force - How could my body tell her anything? Particularly when she was getting her answers by just randomly tugging at my right arm...
Unwilling to give up so soon I did try to stick it out with an open mind, an open mind that was also aware of the £40 that I had shelled out to listen to this madness. My particular favourite moments came when she asked me obscure questions like "What happened when you were 18?" and "Are you angry?" to which my responses were "Em I have no idea what happened when I was 18, you are asking about 365 days of my life all at once" and "no I am not angry....Why would I be angry? I am currently inhaling a high level of very strong lavender incense, I can barely even scrape feeling frustration any more."
So the session carried on for a further 30 minutes during which time she was able to inform me that there was something upsetting my guts - a fact which I had been able to tell her in an email 5 days earlier, genius - and that she would have to work out what it is in a repeat session. Incidentally I was also told that my "chakras" wanted to see her again within a three day period. Oh really? I said as I looked at her with unabashed suspicion. Are my "chakras" going to head out to the working world to earn the £40 an hour which she was going to charge?
Never the less, unwilling to accept defeat from a potential solution so quickly I did go back for one more session (yes it was within the "necessary" three day period) and realised that although it wasn't giving me the answers I was looking for or indeed the help that I wanted it was a great excuse to just lie on a bed and shut off for an hour. An expensive hour, but a blissfully silent one all the same.
Maybe I will try other alternative therapies to see how I get on with those. Next on my hit list are going to be acupuncture and hypnotherapy - I have heard that both are meant to be beneficial to IBS sufferers so anything that even has a little bit of hope attached to it I am going to make sure to give a whirl.
Also anything that will delay the now seemingly inevitable date with the sexy camera has got to be worth a shot right?!
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